A dream dies. You turn to walk away, putting aside all hope for another day. The ship has sailed and you pull up your collar against the biting wind and look for a direction- any direction – to go. The clock is ticking and you are not getting younger. The chrysalis hardens around your body and you don’t move much anymore.

You pull yourself over on the bench of the stale booth. You sip your iced tea and make small talk. Then he opens his mouth to speak. You feel a tiny flutter. It is possibly your heart. Half asleep in this dark, hard place, your wings have formed but never stretched.

He says more words. And tiny thread of gold makes its way through the tip of your shell. You do not react on the surface the way your insides are feeling. You strain to hear – first a faint note and then a quiet chord. You cannot remember all the words, but you begin to recognize the melody. You know it is something good, because your eyes are wet and your chin is lifting. You blink to make sure it is real – this light.

Dreams had died and faded away. How can it be that his words are breathing new life into that old dream? Why now? Why after so long could that dream be awakened and washed by such grace, such mercy? Allowed all at once to be who you were always meant to be? Not the person of your own creation, but receiver of unsolicited charis – grace not asked for, thought to be lost, dead, gone forever.

God is not yet finished. He has put desires and longings and gifts in me and just when I was sure it would never be, that maybe all my longing had been a mistake, a misunderstanding, it is all given to me – a banquet, a feast, a table set and prepared for me in the presence of my enemies – the naysayers, the voice in my own head that had said, “give it up.”

He has annointed my head with the oil of choosing. He chooses me. My cup overflows with blessing and gratitude and humble wonder at what is a new beginning. Resurrection. Alive again! Usable. Gifted. Commissioned. Chosen.

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17